2014 Ironhead Cup Draft Kit

Posted by Undrafted Jeff and The Bobocracy - June 28, 2014 | Link



Undrafted Jeff and The Bobocracy have again teamed up to prepare a draft kit to assist this year's captains in picking their teams.
 
The Ironhead Cup draft will take place Friday, May 16th at 5:30 PM at Pat's Tap, Minneapolis.
 
Each player has been thoroughly analyzed including a break down of their strengths and weaknesses.  The list below is sorted by stated handicap and for those Men that competed in the 2012 Ironhead Cup and return again this year, their actual handicap from last year's event is included.
 
Amphetamine Dave (Hdcp:  2.8)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

Golf Slogan - "I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorists.  Now watch this drive." - George W. Bush

Biggest Pro:
The most important shot in golf is the next one.

Biggest Con:
Unproven WOFM experience,
A dreadful lacross team actually won last in 2013 causing him to short hit his rookie year.

Biggest Pro:
Brings the lowest handicap to WOFM Eight.

Biggest Con:
Bing-watching Breaking Bad on Netflix for product and operation ideas could be a distraction.
Hambone! (Hdcp:  7.2, Cup:  13.8)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

Biggest Pro:
Hambone's diet consists of lots of greens.

Biggest Con:
"Actually, the only tim eI ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula.  And I took a 7 to do that."
Wheels came off the train last year in the deciding match.

Biggest Pro:
Recent retirement means he has nothing better to do than wack his balls around.

Biggest Con:
LOVES donuts.  He's 0-5 the last two years.
Crystal Meth Tweaker Doug (Hdcp:  9.6, Cup:  11.3)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

"The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie." - Mickey Mantle on the Tweaker's play.

Biggest Pro:
Serious about his golf.

Biggest Con:
Motto:  Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
And then were gonna find our best friend Doug, and then were gonna give him a best friend hug.  Doug Doug Oh Doug Doug Dougie Doug Doug!

Biggest Pro:
Maintains an excellent foot wedge game.   

Biggest Con:
Playing opposite Scottish Rob, should that happen, might result in a near-death experience.
The Bobocracy (Hdcp:  10.2, Cup:  14.1)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

Outdrive your competition.

Biggest Pro:
Streaky good.

Biggest Con:
Thinks "Golfers do it on the green" is actually about golf.
It is pretty much a given that a series of disasters will follow The Bobocracy all weekend.

Biggest Pro:
Disasters will be resolved and/or heavy drinking will occur.

Biggest Con:
He won't have Billy Blaze to bail him out this year.
Sporadic Jack (Hdcp:  10.6, Cup:  17.3)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

Fore Father.

Biggest Pro:
"Mistakes are part of the game.  It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player." - Alice Cooper on Jack's game.

Biggest Con:
Only birdie seen will be from the middle finger.
GUYS!

Biggest Pro:
Has been grooving "Beast Mode" over the winter to re-find some lost distance.

Biggest Con:
Shoulders, back, knees, feet...But mostly his mind.
Bruce-in-Law (Hdcp:  13.8, Cup:  20.1)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anybody's game:  An eraser." - Bruce

Biggest Pro:
It's about the business write-off.

Biggest Con:
High integration of business to golf ration may limit fun factor.
A new home with a twin-tap beer system has him looking down his nose at cheap beer.

Biggest Pro:
The only lefty capable of controlling distances with his sand wedge.

Biggest Con:
A recently-fractured foot could be a serious setback.
Sam Adequate (Hdcp:  14.0) CAPTAIN, Casco

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

Represents Hornet pride.

Biggest Pro:
If thinking you are good at golf is an indicator...Sam is great.

Biggest Con:
How did I make a twelve on a part five hole?  It's simple:  I missed a four-footer for an eleven.
Edina bravado has him captaining a team this year.

Biggest Pro:
He's from Edina which means he has more money than us which means he can buy the beer.

Biggest Con:
He's from Edina.  Captaincy could turn into a superiority complex.
Kahnke Kong (Hdcp:  17.2, Cup:  23.4)
 

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either.

Biggest Pro:
A minor adjustment can produce oustanding results.

Biggest Con:
Golf is the sport where your most feared opponent is yourself!
His laid-back attitude means spending time with him looking for his golf balls is a serene experience.

Biggest Pro:
Flowing locks.

Biggest Con:
As a Director of Analytics for a professional sports team, he could be too focused on the numbers.  Particularly consumed beers.
Macho Rod (Hdcp:  22.0, Cup:  22.5)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke.

Biggest Pro:
New mindset = Lower score

Biggest Con:
My golf game is improving...I miss the hole nearer now.
Won the opening match of 2013 with a brilliant par on the 17th hole of The Quarry.

Biggest Pro:
Rod 2.0:  Cool, calm, collected.

Biggest Con:
Rod 2.0's golf game still requires the Bell Curve of Soberness.
128 Fluid Ounces (Hdcp:  22.0, Cup 29.0)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.

Biggest Pro:
What happens on the golf course stays on the golf course.

Biggest Con:
Long ball?
Collar AND sport coat.

Biggest Pro:
Dapper.

Biggest Con:
You can tell he REALLY wants to pop the collar up.
Blue Polaski (Hdcp:  22.0)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."  - Blue

Biggest Pro:
The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Biggest Con:
New to WOFM.  Might be easily distracted by all the bad golf etiquette.
The only rookie (so far) of 2014.  Is he really ready for The Weekend of Man?

Biggest Pro:
He brings a LOT of life experience.

Biggest Con:
The experience is because he's old.  I mean, really old.
Scottish Rob (Hdcp:  24.0, Cup: 26.1)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

If there is one thing I have learned during my years as a professional, it is that the only thing constant about golf is its inconsistency.

Biggest Pro:
Unshakeable spirit.

Biggest Con:
Can be affected by a good scotch.
Put up a few monster numbers last year yet still earned 1.5 points.

Biggest Pro:
Capable of rationalizing really crappy golf shots.

Biggest Con:
His golf game sucks, and his sailing blows.  Get it?  Maybe?  Is this thing on?
Undrafted Jeff (Hdcp:  25.0, Cup: 22.9) CAPTAIN, The Bowser Big Oaks

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

New mashie clubs should improve game.

Biggest Pro:
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Biggest Con:
An endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
Burnsville represents this year as Undrafted Jeff assumes the title of captain.

Biggest Pro:
Maaaaaaaaassssssshhhhiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee

Biggest Con:
All but assured he blames his team members for any and all mistakes, but mostly his own.
Cinnamon! (Hdcp:  25.0, Cup:  26.7)

Undrafted Jeff

The Bobocracy

Coined the phrase "Golf.  The art of playing fetch with yourself."
Biggest Pro:
Not one to speak during backswings.

Biggest Con:
More time in the sand than David Hasslehoff.
He's the Anti-Smalls:  He always slices.

Biggest Pro:
Has the world's greatest pickup line/ice breaker at his disposal this year.

Biggest Con:
The odds of him using it are the closest thing in nature to absolute zero that scientists have yet observed.



Excuse me, do you have any capes or scepters?


Good Times Johnny - Finding a gift for The Wizard...At a bait shop.

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