2023 (Sweet Sixteen)

Themes tend to emerge across various Weekend of Man years.  For 2023, the Weekend of Man Sweet Sixteen, the guiding focus for Men would become righting wrongs.

Righted Wrong Number One:  Clear Spirits
The Bruce C. Annual Spirits Tasting Invitational (known as the BCASTI) started in 2021 with a splendid collection of single malt Scotch whiskys, expertly curated by Scottish Rob who also included tasting glasses, sipping instructions, and a background on all five distilling regions in Scotland.  In 2022, aquavits were featured as a unique spirit experiment.  It became quickly evident that only Six Percent, Undrafted Jeff, and The Bobocracy would derive any enjoyment from them.

A New Rookie Man took it upon himself to right this wrong for the BCASTI-III, seeking out an exquisite range of Bourbons.  The Toronto Maple Queef put together an impressive list that immediately met one of the Weekend of Man's bigger challenges:  Allocated Bourbons in a post-COVID world.

While planning and logistics for The Weekend of Man begin long before the actual event each year, Sweet Sixteen took it to another level of coordination.  Multiple Men across multiple states were sent out into the world to find a series of nearly unobtainable Bourbons, or obtainable at extortionist pricing.  One of the defining characteristics of Men Alumni is determination, and it is this feature that saw the acquisition plan through.

Bottles were brought across state lines.  Bottles were brought across country borders.  Rare bottles were found at airport kiosks (yes, you read that correctly).  Bottles were bought in the unlit basements of questionable liquor stores in all-cash transactions (yes, you read that correctly, too).

The end result of this multi-month search was a Bourbon tasting that was nothing short of spectacular.  When those whining about "cask strength spirits" were filtered out, the feedback was universally positive.

Righted Wrong Number Two:  Broken Fishing Rods
Undrafted Jeff has a super-power.  He truly believes actions that are a direct result of his actions are not actually his fault.  Case-in-point is the broken tip of a very expensive and cherished fishing rod belonging to The Bobocracy.  After Undrafted Jeff failed to hold open a screen door, it slammed on The Bobocracy and snapped off the top 8" of this rod.  For shame, Jefe.

This wrong was easy to fix, but formed the foundation of the annual and irrational road trip that saw Undrafted Jeff, Sam Adequate, and The Bobocracy to small towns and areas of Minnesota previously unknown.  They would arrive to Cabela's in Rogers, Minnesota before it opened, waiting patiently outside the store.  They were the only individuals (adult or child) outside the store without mullets.

An adequate replacement rod was quickly found and acquired, along with a replacement battery for BLACK MAMBA, the fantastic electronics brought aboard the Super Game Fisher each year.

Righted Wrong Number Three:  Cowboy Hats
In 2021, Undrafted Jeff and The Bobocracy acquired "cowboy hats" at The Boot Barn in Williston, North Dakota.  After returning home The Bobocracy was met with verbal scorn from his wife for this acquired hat, claiming it to not be "cowboy enough".  Careful what you ask for...

The nearest Boot Barn in Minnesota to The Route of the Pioneers would take them 94 miles out of their way, a mere inconvenience given the rules that guide their vehicular journey and desire to see as many townie bars as possible.  With plenty of help from the confused yet friendly staff, all three Men emerged with various forms of Stenson-style hats that they would wear during all non-golf activiites throughout the Weekend of Man.

They also discovered that with foolproof effectiveness, tipping a cowboy hat and saying "Ma'am" to any woman will get her to smile.

Righted Wrong Number Four:  Fly Swatters
Many years ago, on one of the first true experiments in how absurd a route one can drive between two points, Men ended up at The Squirrel Cage Bar in Willow River, Minnesota.  When they arrived all those years ago, they were handed Miller High Lifes and fly swatters.

The convenience of having to back-track from central Minnesota to northeastern Minnesota put the Squirrel Cage on the map, so in Men went.  And wrong righted, fly swatters were not present nor necessary, and in fact the bar had become a hot wings specialty bar.  This drew the intrigue of both Undrafted Jeff and Sam Adequate and The Squirrel Cage became an unplanned lunch stop.

The Squirrel Cage does still feature urinals placed in the corner of the bathroom, which creates an uncomfortable "ass-to-ass" situation when in use by more than one individual.  Not all wrongs can be righted.

Righted Wrong Number Five:  Weather
The Weekend of Man had an unusual streak of multiple years with pleasant weather.  2022 saw potentially the most severe weather, dodging a potential tornado by less than a mile.  Sweet Sixteen would see Men bask under sunny skies each and every day.  A small amount of haze from Canadian wildfires well to the northwest made for exceptional sunsets.  Given the recent passing of Gordon Lightfoot, The Toronto Maple Queef, Undrafted Jeff, and The Bobocracy set aboard the Super Game Fisher on the first-and-likely-only suspension of the "Marina Rule", allowing "Sundown" by Mr. Lightfoot to be played while the watercraft was in motion.

Rest in peace, Gordon.

 

Righted Wrong Number Six:  Unintentional Sandbagging
As most Weekend of Man Alumni do not carry an official USGA Handicap, many are left to their own devices in calculating an appropriate handicap.  After two consecutive years of the "Ramble Format" individual best ball with obscenely under par scores, The Weekend of Man Board of Directors re-developed the Ironhead Cup into a bracket tourney, celebrating our Sweet Sixteen metaphor.  Of note is that last year's winner, Bruce-in-Law, does maintain a USGA handicap and yet somehow still ended a three-round individual net best ball tourney at -25 to par.

Men were paired against each other in net score match play.  Two first-round MARQUEE matchups featured Sam Adequate vs. Scottish Rob in the first and Bruce-in-Law vs. Macho Rod in the second.  The UPSET WATCH was two seed The Bobocracy vs. Virtual Machine.  Sam Adequate took the first marquee matchup in the first round but later fell to finalist Cinnamon!.  Bruce-in-Law bettered Macho Rod before getting destroyed by The Bobocracy, who breezed past the upset watch and into the Final Four.  Six Percent quietly mowed down all the competition, ultimately defeating Cinnamon! in the final and taking home the Marquee de Sod.

Righted Wrong Number Seven:  Cloquet, MN
The Standard Route to the Iron Range takes most Men through Cloquet.  After years of suggesting a stop into a cool-looking river-front bar, The Bobocracy and Undrafted Jeff piloted their oversized rental SUV into the parking lot of the Northeastern Saloon and Hotel on the shores of the St. Louis River.  They would ended up spending the next hour with the owners, Bert and Judy, drinking several beers, and making a promise to bring other Men back in years future.

Unlike the soft ending of 2022, Sweet Sixteen ended as just that:  Sweet.  Many wrongs were righted, fun was had, and indeible memories were made.